I am a prison minister, and a Kairos prison chaplain asked me to write to a few inmates.
My son stood in for him as proxy. My daughter-in-law was the witness. We were married by the same minister who introduced us. I wore a cream-colored linen skirt, a cream lace top, and gold shoes. I had a bouquet of flowers and a lace heart-shaped pillow for the rings. We wrote our own vows. We were married in our home. My husband called right after the ceremony.
Twice a month.
3.5 hours—about 178 miles—each way.
That I could sit next to my husband.
Phone: $60, Email: $1.00, Gas: $30, Snacks for visitation: $30, Breakfast and dinner on the way there and back: $20
I've told them the truth.
Yes, when they switched him from his unit to the hospital and back again. Usually, it's just for the weekend, but one time they forgot about him and he was there for 10 days. I was on the phone with personnel at different units until something was done.
Horrible, I cried when he finally called me. They cut off the phone calls when they are in transit.
We write sexy letters, we talk sexy to each other, we created a honeymoon journal, and sometimes I send him sexy pictures. The mailroom won’t always allow him to have them, but other times they will.
Holding him. I'm only allowed one kiss and hug before and after the visit.
Finances. I try to send him commissary money in addition to all the other expenses.
Have a vacation.
I was already a prison minister. I have my master's in applied criminology with a policy emphasis. Yet, after marriage, it became much more personal.
Never give up, don't be intimidated, and make it known to your spouse that he has someone on the outside. Otherwise, he can have a rougher time.
Answers have been edited for length and clarity.