“Sending Kites” is a monthly column from The Marshall Project that explores challenges faced by people with incarcerated loved ones and by people in jails and prisons. Check our previous columns.
In this story:
For many people in prison, the countdown to release starts on day one. Some circle the date on a mental calendar years before release. Then the day finally comes, and they are out of their uniform and ready, dressed in street clothes and waiting for the doors to open.
That is when the questions start.
“Do I have an ID?”
“Where am I going to work?”
“How do I use a phone with no buttons?”
For family and friends, a loved one’s release is the day they have been waiting for. For the person walking out, it is the start of a long game of catch-up. More than 450,000 people were released from state and federal prisons in 2023. Many of them stepped into a world that had moved on without them, and it felt like being left behind. While they were inside, rent went up. Cash turned into tap-to-pay. Job applications, doctor’s appointments, and benefits like food assistance programs moved online, pushing some to confront the digital space for the very first time.
The first weeks are often the hardest. A person leaving prison may walk out with a prison ID that is not accepted for a job, an apartment or a bank account. Many leave with little or no money. In one recent study of people who served 20 years or more, over half were released without any “gate money,” and the rest received between $32 and $200. Most said the prison gave them no contact information for jobs, housing, health insurance or mental health services before they left. Finding work can take years: A federal study that followed more than 50,000 people released from prison found that 1 in 3 had not found a job at any point in the four years after their release.
Reentry organizations say the mental transition actually begins six to 12 months before release, and that the months directly after leaving prison are when people need daily encouragement while they sort out housing, food, clothing and paperwork.
That is where families come in. Research consistently shows that stable housing, steady work and strong family ties are some of the biggest predictors of whether someone stays home for good. The people we hear from know this, too. When our newsroom asked incarcerated people across the country how they are thinking about reentry, some told us they are counting down the days. Others are serving a life sentence and still plan for the future anyway. What they shared was less about the release date and more about the life they wanted to build for themselves post-release.
For this edition of “Sending Kites,” we pulled together their advice for families who want to help. The responses cover everything from the DMV to the dinner table, and they all point to the same idea: Coming home is a long, complicated process, and the people who get through it rarely do it alone.
Starting early:
Many readers said reentry planning should begin long before the release date, even for people who do not have one yet.
I think about reentry every day. What can I do now that will help me when I am released? You do not have to wait 'til you are that close to your release date. Some ways you can be proactive about your reentry are by taking college courses, [learning] a vocation, and getting your high school diploma or GED. These are just a few. But you have to have the drive. No one is going to do it for you.
FROM A READER IN CA
I’m a lifer, yet I think of reentry every day. If you are doing time, carry yourself as if you are going home soon.
FROM A READER IN NC
I have thought about reentry. The advice I would give is: Don’t take anything for granted. And if any type of opportunity presents itself, then take it. You never know what kind of doors it can open for you.
FROM A READER IN NC
Getting the paperwork in order:
A birth certificate, Social Security card and state ID are documents that will be necessary to secure a job, an apartment and a bank account. Families can start gathering these documents before release day.
First and foremost, have a plan to get your state identification updated upon your release. We have a program at this facility where they take individuals who are within 90 to 120 days of release to the DMV to get proper IDs. Connect with your local employment office and learn how to prepare a resume or update your current one. Remember to account for the time that you have been incarcerated by including any educational or trade programs that you participated in during your incarceration. Don’t leave blank spaces or gaps with time unaccounted for. Start preparing a budget for yourself; use hypotheticals and estimates so you can have an idea of your finances and what to expect. Be patient and don’t be too anxious. Everything is going to fall into place, but it won’t happen overnight. It’s gonna take time. If you’re struggling with mental health or substance abuse issues, make sure to connect with the resources available in your area upon your release.
FROM A READER IN NC
Building a network on the outside:
Readers said the people waiting for them, and the organizations they connect with before release, can make the difference between thriving and getting stuck.
First, consider what you hope to achieve with the rest of your life. Do anything you can to research how to make this happen. Attempt to build a support network, including family and friends, who will help you grow your network to include possible sponsors, mentors, employers, business partners, investors and more. It’s hard from the inside, but you can achieve more than you think as long as you don’t succumb to hopelessness and complacency. Find places that help smooth reentry. Connect to places that specialize in former convict employment. Find a good place of congregation such as a church, coffee shop or fraternity in which people gather to help improve themselves and each other. You become who you hang out with, so hang out with inspired people. Don’t give up.
FROM A READER IN NC
Making connections with people on the outside is important. Having a strong network can help you find resources and jobs. Also, there are usually lists of resources available in the prison law library.
FROM A READER IN CA
I need to make sure I have an effective network set up so that I can have the best opportunity once I’m out. That means that every person and organization I come in contact with during my incarceration can and may play a role in my life once I'm out. This even includes some — notice I said “some” and not “all” — of my formerly incarcerated peers who are already out there battling life. It gives me a more realistic view of what to expect upon release.
FROM A READER IN CA
I am a lifer with hope and faith. I still read and study any and everything that can benefit me as a free man. I think that a great support system is the key to being successful upon your release. But I truly believe that resilience is the ultimate tool needed to be successful upon re-entry into the world.
FROM A READER IN SC
Having a backup plan:
Housing can fall through. A job offer can disappear. Readers said the people who land on their feet are the ones who planned for more than one outcome.
I’m 54, and I have served 34 1/2 years of incarceration. I’m up for parole this year and know that you must be ready if it is your time for release. Always have a Plan B when it comes to your reentry plan. Whether it be your home plan, job plan or whatever, be ready just in case things change.
FROM A READER IN NC
I always think about reentry, and I just know that I need to go to a halfway house. I need to start everything from the bottom because that’s how I’m going to grow as a man and learn to take care of myself first. If I can take care of myself, then I can take care of others as well. So start from the bottom and get to the top, slowly but surely.
FROM A READER IN OR
Find out what your values are and start working toward them. Set reachable goals that you know are going to help you leave prison a better person than you were when you walked in.
FROM A READER IN TX
Taking it one day at a time:
Families often want to make up for lost time all at once. Readers said the opposite is true: The first weeks home are about slowing down.
My particular reentry is rather ethereal. I may or may not be resentenced soon. The parole board may or may not find me suitable in a couple of years. What I focus on is who I want to be today, and I make daily strides to achieve this ideal. My advice is to live life NOW. Do not wait to get out. As my pop says, “If you have one foot in the past and one in the future, you’re pissing all over today.”
FROM A READER IN CA
This question is tough. On one hand, it is absolutely vital to keep your eyes focused on release and life after incarceration. Failing to do so puts you at risk of falling into old habits upon release, habits that caused incarceration in the first place. On the other hand, focusing too much on life after prison can actually become a hindering form of escapism for short-timers that places dealing with destructive character flaws on the back burner.
FROM A READER IN NC
Yes, I’ve thought about reentry. My advice to fellow incarcerated people would be to just stay positive through your sentence. Start by taking the time to better yourself while incarcerated. Surround yourself with people who want the same goals. Take home a career from prison.
FROM A READER IN CA
We want to hear from you:
Were you incarcerated? If so, we want to know what coming home was really like. How was your first week home? What did your family or friends do that helped the most, and what do you wish they had known? What was harder than you expected: finding work, getting an ID, learning new technology, reconnecting with your loved ones? What advice would you give to a family getting ready to welcome someone home?
Your response may be used in a future Sending Kites column. If your response is featured, we will not use your name. The attribution will include your role and where you’re based. For example: “From a formerly incarcerated person in Ohio.”